World of Warhammer: Age of the Hyborian Everquesting Lich King and the EVE of Caribbean Pirate Crusade within the Cities of Heroes and Villians

Could you imagine such a title?


I bet that's the future of MMO's.






Vote Oky, 2666.

That is all.

Pro-Death

After years of supporting a female's right to choose, I have decided I am actually a proponent of Pro-Death.

What is Pro-Death you ask? Pro-Death is a new Destruction lobby aimed at making sure all pregnant Order females are forced to abort their fetuses in the name of my own personal god, Khaine. Those of the lobby follow these simple instructions:

• Fetuses are to live inside the mother until a few weeks before gestation. This provides the maximum amount of blood.
• Our agents inside of Atldorf provide a sedative to the mother and the fetus is removed.
• The fetus is smuggled back to The Inevitable City.
• The blood of the fetus is drained and then consumed by those of us of a high enough rank.
• The rest of the fetus is burned while a ritual orgy takes place.
• The mother must remain unharmed. She is to be so distraught about losing her fetus as to immediately get pregnant again. Thus our constant supply of fetal blood is maintained.

Much study has been done by the Disciples of Khaine on this subject. The result is:

IMMORTALITY

We have discovered the holy grail of our world. We shall live forever. The Order shall soon fear us. They will submit and become our slaves.

I would feel pity for them, but those of Order remind me of a mosquito. They are a minor inconvenience that is easily killed.

On a more joyous note. Please keep October 31st open on your calendar. The great union of Poosh and Okris will finally come to pass. Stay tuned to your local Herald for information regarding the time and location of our wedding.

Gifts will be welcomed, but Poosh and I would much rather you make a donation in our names to the Pro-Death Lobby. Visit The Mononlith in the Inevitable City to donate.

A wedding...and Manbearsquig

I admit it...I was responsible for setting the date between Poosh and Okris. Normally the happy couple should choose the date to their liking, but I profess...I cannot sit idle when October 31st is coming!

Clearly, a freak show wedding deserves a date that is equal to the horror we've all had to endure for the last couple months. I mean...I've had to deal with some absolute silliness...Az keyboard turning during Molten Core...Doogs' totems being the subject of Ony's hate (lord only knows why)...and then the craziness of Poosh and Okris from Kara to BT...

Aside from something like Christmas...which would be weird...even for me...I thought that Holloween is far more fitting.

Now...as to Manbearsquig...

Some might say he doesn't exist. Some might claim it is really manbearPIG (What silliness is that?)...clearly they haven't seen Manbearsquig. So what will I do about that? Well...I've taken the liberty of securing a photo of this vile creature...


I will warn you only this once...the hideous visage of this creature is unlike anything you've encountered...


I give you...


Manbearsquig...

Guild rank 6!

Well, it's not like, a -major- achievement, but we're excited about it. EMIT YROTS is ready for guild alliances! WAAAAGH!

In other news: I CANNOT FREAKING BELIEVE THE TWINS PULLED IT OFF!

OH MY GOD

for srs.

-Vaughnstabbity

Here's me, in RvR.

http://view.break.com/572561 - Watch more free videos

Especially the RUN AWAY! part.

-Vaughn Havoc teh elf.

What will happen to Poosh and Okris?

For those of you new to us here at emiT yrotS, I'll need to provide a bit of a backstory.

Several of us spent some time on The Scryers which is an extremely low population RP server. We were part of Rival, the #1 Horde guild on the server. I say this with tongue in cheek as we were the only server that was not able to down Vashj and Kael'thas before attunements were taken away from Mount Hyjal and the Black Temple.

Poosh and I were two of these people. Poosh was a Pre-Op Transexual Male Undead Fury Warrior (wow, that is a mouthful). I was an Orc Affliction Warlock. We fell in love. One day, as we were running towards Void Reaver, Poosh proposed to me. I accepted immediately. What followed was a whirlwind engagement. We professed our love to those on vent. We invited all to our wedding.

As time went on, our story got out to others on the server. We became well known. People we never met would wish us luck as they saw us outside of the Aldor Bank. We used to commit suicide in front of each other by flying high in the air and jumping off of our flying mounts. It was very romantic. We also enjoyed lunch under an umbrella we got from Valentine's Day.

Our interspecies homosexual relationship was well received by all, except for Poosh's parents. What I found odd, was that they accepted our interspecies relationship but frowned on the homosexual portion. We pleaded with them to give up their conservative ways and accept us for who we are. They wouldn't budge. It was a hard decision, but in the end, Poosh and I decided they had to leave Azeroth in one way or another.

We tried to banish them to Molten Core, but they would not go. We tried to send them to Stratholme, but they would not go. Finally, we pulled out all the stops. We decided it was time for their lives to end. I put a Curse of Doom upon both of them. As soon as they understood they had one minute to live, they pleaded with us to reconsider. They told us they now understood and accepted us as we are. I didn't buy it. I let them die. It was exhilarating. I've never felt so free in my life.

We never did get married. We were waiting until we could defeat Lady Vashj. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. As soon as they lifted the attunements, we moved on instead of bashing our head against Vashj. Near the beginning of the summer, we lost a lot of membership and decided to move servers. This was around the time AoC came out. Well, suffice it to say, I did not last long in WoW. Poosh played AoC for a while, but promptly went back to WoW in preparation for WAR. I stayed away from gaming.

Now WAR has been released. We've been planning to continue our RP story, even though we are on a Non RP server at the moment. Okris is to be a Disciple of Khaine. Poosh was to be a Marauder. There is only one problem. Poosh is on the invalid name list!

Are you fucking kidding me?!?

A quick look at Urban Dictionary gives the following possible definition for Poosh:

n. A female belly that is very attractive if it does not protrude farther than her breasts.

So, Mythic, you are trolling Urban Dictionary to find words to ban? For shame!

I don't know where this leaves us. It just isn't the same without him being named Poosh. Please wish us well in our further endeavors. If you see us running towards you, please feel free to stare.

The end of the World (of Warcraft) as we know it!

I was invited to the Lich King beta, along with 10 thousand other people in a desperate attempt to get WoW players to keep playing. There was also a pet penguin in my mailbox. Adorable yes, but not enough to salvage the wreck that is WotLK. Here's what I have to say -

I was in school, on a break when I first found the invite in my email. It congratulated me on being chosen. made it seem as if it was very exclusive. Out of curiosity, I decided to go ahead and set up my account and transfer a character over, and I must say, I was a little excited to be able to see the game for myself. Giggling ensued.

I got home at 6:30 PM, and hoped right onto my computer, and started downloading the client, that would then download the installer, that would then install the game. The client took about 10 minutes with a T1 connection. This was my first hint there were more then a few people who just got in. The actual game installer took about 5 hours to download. Install went pretty quickly, only took about 15 minutes. I then began patching, the first one patch was 1.3 gigs. It was estimating a 15 day download time. so I sought some alternatives, but all had similar times, so I gave in and let the download go. about 10% in it decided it was only going to take 20 minutes. After that, and a slew of other patches, it was 2:15 AM and I was ready to go!

I loaded the game up and was surprised at the loading screen, I thought it would be another portal just tinted blue, or something lame like that. but instead its a very noisy dragon swooping around an icy landscape. So I logged in, brought up the server list (noticed only 3) and went to the server I had previously transferred my character to, and logged in.

There were so many people playing these premade level 80 characters, that there was a solid 4 second delay between anything you do and when it actually happens. I made my spec (and yes, each click of the talent tree took 4 seconds to register.) In between clicks, I brought up my character sheet to see what the hell I was wearing. It looked like Dungeon 2 gear combined with Tier 2, colored brown and sanded down to have all smooth edges. Looking at the weapons in my bag, and the gear on me, I concluded Blizzards solution to PvP epics was to make them blue. golly! thats clever! Now we can't call them welfare epics anymore, and welfare blues just doesn't have the same ring to it. so GG blizz, you solved that problem.

So I finished my spec, and went realized I had mail. found the nearest mailbox, which was quite easy as there was one at each corner. (this is in Dalaran) I had 2 letters, one had a pet penguin, and thanked me for having a World of Warcraft account, the other was a package of various potions from an NPC congratulating me on level 80. So I opened my bag to hop on my flying mount, but it wasn't there (No, I didn't read patch notes) so I asked a guard where the mount trainer was, I ran over, clicked on him and he said I knew how to fly (cold whether flying..) so I brought up my bags again and realized no pet either. then remembered a friend told me there was a new tab in character sheet that held these items. Sure enough! "Pets" tab and "Achievements" tab. So I brought up the pets tab, and within it was a "Mount" tab, and in it was a Nether ray, and raptor. Clicked my Nether ray and Took Fli--- what? I can't get on flying mount in Dalaran? Ok, so I hoped on my raptor and took off looking for a place to mount. Finally found one by the flight master, so I hopped on my Nether ray and took flight!

First stop - try out spec on equal level mobs. Fortunately, that was right below be! so I tested out Heroic leap first. Went Nice and high, popped and demounted. I had sufficient rage, came in range of a target, and Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, dead.

Wait.. thats not how it worked in the video I saw, so I hovered over the ability and realized it was changed to take 25 rage.. bummer. Bloodrage only gives about 25. But the graveyard was within feet of me, I guess Blizz planned for idiots like me. So I got to my body and a friendly dwarf dropped down next to me and changed stances. then I realized it was a PvP server.. dead.
But again! the graveyard was mere feet away, so I waited to the dwarf to leave and I popped. Blizz also gave two 22 slot bags full of bandages! sadly, they didn't heal my 22k health. So I killed some level 78's until I could use it again.

Then I spotted him! A level 80 elite tree. I remembered the article of the mage killing him with his images.. I thought, I duel wielding weapons as big as I am! I can take him. and sure enough, I could. (thanks to my buddy execute) but what I noticed was, I was hitting about as hard as Poosh hits.. level 70 with t5 equivalent.. and here's a level 80 with almost double all my stats (minus hit rating). So I killed some more things then gave into my craving to make a death knight.

Pulled back to character selection screen on my server, and couldn't make new characters there. So I went to server selection screen, and saw the 2 other servers. I clicked on the one called "Lich King" and couldn't connect.. theres a good sign! so I went to the last of the 3, and got on no problem, and thankfully it was PvE. I went to make my Death Knight and first thing I realized was the armor changed. No more does it carry the warrior look, I was wearing a paladin style black plate robe and shoulders. Looked pretty lame to me.. shoulders totally didn't go with the outfit. Sheesh! So I made an Orc, and entered the game. Cool little cinematic, you seem to be in one of the plaguelands, on a floating necropolis type thing.

I gain control of my character, and a familiar face is in front of me.. could it be? Noo.. why would he be here? but sure enough. first quest giver is the Lich King himself! (I guess he couldn't connect to his own server either, so he came here too.) So he's so leet he's got his own voice over. sadly though, its off timer. so I had already read the quest and accepted it before he even started saying the greeting. So I stuck around and listened to his bad ass voice, then turned.

Now, any self respecting WoW player knows, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and we take that line no matter what! So when I turned around and saw two winding stair cases, I said "fuck that!" and jumped down the middle. I landed in a metallic circle on the floor shooting up pink colored lights. wasn't sure what to make of it, and didn't really care, I had auto run on and I was outta there. then I hit what I thought was a spot of lag, but it passed. so I ran around, and around, and around, and no quest giver! I saw his mark on my map, but it lined up with a hole in the floating platform. I tried jumping, but with no success. So I ran back to the lich king and he wasn't there, I figured he got sick of all these DK scrubs, but then saw the pink lights again... what are the chances that's a portal? Damn good ones. I hopped back on and was portaled to the upper level again. I think Arthas actually laughed when I came back to the right level.

So I found my quest giver, and accepted first quest - go find a sword. I had passed countless sword racks on my way to him, but alas.. none of them had the sword for me. I ran around in circles a few times until I spotted the sparkels in the corner of a side section of the room. Grabbed my sword, went to the forge, and made it a runeblade. turned in the quest, and the next one was to forge a rune on it. So I opened the character sheet and looked to see if I had to click the sword like a socket, tried dragging runes down.. nothing. finally went to character sheet and saw I had an ability like making poisons. So I forged it, turned in the quest and then was told to go kill some unworthy guy, and was given a key. I jumped down, skimmed my abilities to get a grasp of what they were, then engaged the enemy. Had a tauren not came over, I probably would have died. I had no clue what I was doing, and this guy did. Maybe he wasn't unworthy after all.. so I I looked over my abilities and I decided on a rotation I could use that seemed it would be effective. Engaged another enemy at 60% health, and he killed me. I clicked release spirit and appeared at the bottom of the floating structure. Lost, and confused, I found a flight master who took me back up on a skeletal gryphon.

I turned in the quest and was told to report to the Lich King, ran over and he asked me to take control of an Orb and scout out the scarlet crusade people in the area. Now the Orb is more like a big eye.. that theme is getting a little over used now. The control mechanisms were on the far side of the platform with the Lich king, and sort of wedged in a corner, just out of sight with camera at max distance. So I turned and ran to the middle of the room, did some circles, and no luck.. couldn't find them. Decided this was becoming a trend, and the things were probably right by the LK, sure enough.. so I hopped on one, and there is about a 8 second delay before the orb launches, then you control it and have ti find 5 hunter marks on the ground while being shot at by ground forces. you have 1 cloak, that breaks easily, one offensive ability that turns enemies in range into scourge, and the 'inspect' ability you have to use at each position. My orb died 3 times, and the quest can only be described as failing the Sunwell bombing quest multiple times. Extremely frustrating, and not worth it.. as was my conclusion of the game.. not worth it.

the end.